A couple nights ago I could not get to sleep. I was up early that morning and ran all day. All I wanted to do when I got home was to have a nice hot cup of tea and relax. I had bought some Yogi tea earlier and thought that would be the perfect thing to wind down after a long hectic day. So, I brewed up some tea, held it in my hands and breathed in the aroma.
That's really my favorite part of tea. Breathing in the steam. I think there's something therapeutic in the steam.
An hour passed and I was feeling a little more relaxed, but I wasn't tired. So, I brewed another cup. And I sat, breathed in the steam and watched another show on TV. And then I had my third cup, and a forth and before I know it I had drank 7 cups of this lovely, relaxing Yogi tea. When 5am rolled around and I had done my 5th load of laundry, made a 4th wire-wrapped necklace, 2nd bracelet, 3rd pair of earrings and cleaned the downstairs bathroom top to bottom, I wondered why the hell I was still up. I decided to go back and read the box of tea.
Yeah, it was Green Tea with extra anti-oxidants to aid in energy and digestion. Uh, yeah so I just didn't go to sleep that night. I think I may have taken a nap around 3pm...for an hour, maybe two because the phone started ringing with bond calls. The story of my life.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
Big Pimpin'...Big "Going Out of Business Sale"
I have always believed that the secret to a successful business is do it like a baby would. By that I mean the old saying, "you have to crawl before you can run". I think it's one of the most important things to remember when making business decisions. Yes, you should take risk, but take risk that's in line with your next step. One foot in front of the other. I think we've done a good job of crawling and we've really started to master walking. We try to give advice to our agents and guide them along the successful path, but people don't always listen to us. Which is one of the reasons we have a fairly interesting attrition rate.
One of the interesting attrition stories I have is one about Sara Gene*. Sara was brought into our little family through the back door, so she didn't really get the full interview process until after she was already involved in bonding. She decided she wanted to cut the middle man out and go direct, but she didn't anticipate that if she changed the rules midway we would change the game. I mean it's only fair to change the game if the "employee" wants to change the rules. Personally, I think it takes a real bold person to think they can run the show if they don't even have the money to buy the tickets, but hey, what do I know?
So, we get the new contract together and make an appointment to meet. She missed it, no phone call, email, text. So we make another appointment- she missed it. And then we make a third appointment- she makes it at the last possible minute. We go through everything and she decided that she wants her lawyer to look over it. OK, fine, no problem, but she could have had me fax it on Wednesday when we scheduled the first meeting. I knew it was bull shit, even though I didn't know exactly why she was trying to buy time. She tells me that she's going to call me first thing in the morning.
The morning comes. The afternoon passes by and at 2pm I send her a text message asking her what's going on with the contract. Her husband calls me and starts with "now listen here..."
Now I don't know about you, but I think it takes balls to call up the person backing you with $800k investment and start a conversation with "Now look here..." But, you know, more power to you if you think you can.
Long story short, I don't intimidate easily and he was apologizing profusely within 2 minutes of my "countdown". (Btw, if you ever get the countdown, don't let me get past 3. This guy get to 6.) Those of you who know me understand that I don't really like people who apologize too much because it makes me distrust them and an apology looses meaning when it's given too freely. So, this is a red flag for me.
But, still wanting this work out, I overlook this phone call and make a mental note to talk to Sara Gene about it next time we meet. (A piece of advice for women in business- don't have "your man" fight your battle for you because it seriously undermines you.)
So, she dicks me around a couple more days to eventually say that "her lawyer" didn't see how she would make enough money to cover what she's already spending in business advertising, etc. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't know many lawyers who will advise on contract rates unless they are negotiating for you. And not to mention, her contract rate was going up from 2 points to 6 points...um, hello, raise. So, again, the bull shit flag goes up. Well, we end up pulling her backing to find out that she had already gotten someone else to back her. Wow, so now she's violated her original contract because we had never released her from the original contract. Hrm, what are we to do? (We're still working on that one.)
To get back to my original thought about crawling before you run. My point here is that Sara Gene is cutting her nose off to spite her face because she is jumping sureties/investors too often (4 months in the business and on her second surety). She's spent thousands of dollars wrapping her Lexus and big pimping truck, she's probably spent thousands on Yellowbook advertising and she has the big pimping bondsman mentality going strong.
Yeah, these people come out here, attempt to play with the big dogs and get hurt. The problem I see with these wanna-be business people is that they are a big nuisance for a short period of time and leave the rest of us to clean up their bull shit. It annoys the hell out of me, but gives me a good story to train our "play by the rules" agents.
We're all going to make the money and we're all going to be successful as long as we learn to master each step...crawl, walk, run, sprint, fly. Simple concept to some, impossible to understand for others.
*Names have been changed.
One of the interesting attrition stories I have is one about Sara Gene*. Sara was brought into our little family through the back door, so she didn't really get the full interview process until after she was already involved in bonding. She decided she wanted to cut the middle man out and go direct, but she didn't anticipate that if she changed the rules midway we would change the game. I mean it's only fair to change the game if the "employee" wants to change the rules. Personally, I think it takes a real bold person to think they can run the show if they don't even have the money to buy the tickets, but hey, what do I know?
So, we get the new contract together and make an appointment to meet. She missed it, no phone call, email, text. So we make another appointment- she missed it. And then we make a third appointment- she makes it at the last possible minute. We go through everything and she decided that she wants her lawyer to look over it. OK, fine, no problem, but she could have had me fax it on Wednesday when we scheduled the first meeting. I knew it was bull shit, even though I didn't know exactly why she was trying to buy time. She tells me that she's going to call me first thing in the morning.
The morning comes. The afternoon passes by and at 2pm I send her a text message asking her what's going on with the contract. Her husband calls me and starts with "now listen here..."
Now I don't know about you, but I think it takes balls to call up the person backing you with $800k investment and start a conversation with "Now look here..." But, you know, more power to you if you think you can.
Long story short, I don't intimidate easily and he was apologizing profusely within 2 minutes of my "countdown". (Btw, if you ever get the countdown, don't let me get past 3. This guy get to 6.) Those of you who know me understand that I don't really like people who apologize too much because it makes me distrust them and an apology looses meaning when it's given too freely. So, this is a red flag for me.
But, still wanting this work out, I overlook this phone call and make a mental note to talk to Sara Gene about it next time we meet. (A piece of advice for women in business- don't have "your man" fight your battle for you because it seriously undermines you.)
So, she dicks me around a couple more days to eventually say that "her lawyer" didn't see how she would make enough money to cover what she's already spending in business advertising, etc. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't know many lawyers who will advise on contract rates unless they are negotiating for you. And not to mention, her contract rate was going up from 2 points to 6 points...um, hello, raise. So, again, the bull shit flag goes up. Well, we end up pulling her backing to find out that she had already gotten someone else to back her. Wow, so now she's violated her original contract because we had never released her from the original contract. Hrm, what are we to do? (We're still working on that one.)
To get back to my original thought about crawling before you run. My point here is that Sara Gene is cutting her nose off to spite her face because she is jumping sureties/investors too often (4 months in the business and on her second surety). She's spent thousands of dollars wrapping her Lexus and big pimping truck, she's probably spent thousands on Yellowbook advertising and she has the big pimping bondsman mentality going strong.
Yeah, these people come out here, attempt to play with the big dogs and get hurt. The problem I see with these wanna-be business people is that they are a big nuisance for a short period of time and leave the rest of us to clean up their bull shit. It annoys the hell out of me, but gives me a good story to train our "play by the rules" agents.
We're all going to make the money and we're all going to be successful as long as we learn to master each step...crawl, walk, run, sprint, fly. Simple concept to some, impossible to understand for others.
*Names have been changed.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
As sacred as they can be.
I have to say this career I have chosen continues to supply me with colorful stories which I can share with my friends and family. This one is no different. I must warn that the following story may be a bit offensive to some, so if you're going to get all huffed up about some of the language in this story, don't read any more.
As part of our business, there comes a time when we may have to arrest someone because they don't want to go to court. This doesn't happen a lot because most people have some sense of responsibility and know if they don't go, we'll pick them up and make them. And then you have other people like "Evan". (His name has been changed.) Evan is a saucy- or sauced up- old redneck who is a "personal friend of G" and has been through the system once or twice before. Now, in my mind, if you've been through the judicial system a few times, you should now the score. You get arrested, you get bonded out, you go to court...very simple. But this guy forgot the "go to court" step. So he advanced to the "get picked up by the bounty hunters" step.
The bounty hunter step is reserved for special clients. Being a member of this special club is like being a member of the special Olympics...even at the finish line you're still f'ing retarded. (Please don't throw tomatoes at me for that comment, I already know it's crude, but the effect is warranted here because the only people who skip bond are sissy asses on charges like Driving on Revoked or Indecent Exposure.) Seriously, the punishment for NOT going to court is always more seriously than if you just go and suffer your lumps from the judge.
So the bounty hunters go to the girlfriend's address and get little response from knocking, except from the pit bull mix barking and a few drunken adjectives shouted from inside. The guys couldn't see Evan to make a positive ID and we don't really like to kick doors down until we are certain the fugitive is inside. The guys decided to hang outside and tempt Evan out. After an hour, the police are called by Evans girlfriend. I guess she though they would get rid of the bounty hunters, however it back fired because the cops left after knocking and receiving no response from inside. So, the guys pulled out some lawn chairs and decided to do some moon-tanning while they waited for Evan to come outside. The boys didn't think it was fair that they were the only ones who weren't getting any sleep, so they kept the dog up by knocking on the front door and then the back door and then the front door and then the back door, and then the side window the the front door, etc. While the dog goes crazy and pushes the curtain aside giving a little peak inside, the people inside get more annoyed. Oh yes, the fugitive's mental strife makes us laugh.
After 5 hours, the boys are still tapping on windows and doors until an AC unit falls out of the window and allows access to a bedroom. One of the boys jumps in, gets to look down the hallway until the pit bull mix comes to greet him. He shuts the door as the fugitive gets a running start and kicks the door into Corn Flae as he screams threats of "going and getting his AK". CF jumps back out the window as Evan comes out the front door chugging a bottle of Malibu Rum. While on the front porch, the dog follows him. Bake holds his gun on him and attempts to get Evan on the ground while D maces the charging dog. The fugitive continues to approach aggressively screaming all kinds of "F you's" and "F your mothers".
Now this guy had a Confederate flag on a flag pole in his front yard and an entire room dedicated to the "war". On the team, we have a black guy and a Puerto Rican guy, so insert all the racial slurs you've ever heard because he used them all. I have to say, our guys are very professional an didn't respond to Evan's rantings. Although they did tell the guy he should be a comedian.
On the ride back to jail, Evan told the guys how he was going to get them back and he was swearing on some interesting things. I've heard people swear on their mothers and on their children...and sometimes even on the graves of their loved ones. But this swear is a first. I promise. this is truly what he said...
"I swear on my momma's pu$$y hairs. That's sacred, well that's kind of sacred....well, as sacred as they can be."
Now, what I find funny about this is that you can almost see his drunken mind thinking about what he's saying...and he's almost rationalizing how "sacred" his mother's pu$$y hairs are. I mean, really, what son wants to think about his mothers V-zone? This man is a little off.
As part of our business, there comes a time when we may have to arrest someone because they don't want to go to court. This doesn't happen a lot because most people have some sense of responsibility and know if they don't go, we'll pick them up and make them. And then you have other people like "Evan". (His name has been changed.) Evan is a saucy- or sauced up- old redneck who is a "personal friend of G" and has been through the system once or twice before. Now, in my mind, if you've been through the judicial system a few times, you should now the score. You get arrested, you get bonded out, you go to court...very simple. But this guy forgot the "go to court" step. So he advanced to the "get picked up by the bounty hunters" step.
The bounty hunter step is reserved for special clients. Being a member of this special club is like being a member of the special Olympics...even at the finish line you're still f'ing retarded. (Please don't throw tomatoes at me for that comment, I already know it's crude, but the effect is warranted here because the only people who skip bond are sissy asses on charges like Driving on Revoked or Indecent Exposure.) Seriously, the punishment for NOT going to court is always more seriously than if you just go and suffer your lumps from the judge.
So the bounty hunters go to the girlfriend's address and get little response from knocking, except from the pit bull mix barking and a few drunken adjectives shouted from inside. The guys couldn't see Evan to make a positive ID and we don't really like to kick doors down until we are certain the fugitive is inside. The guys decided to hang outside and tempt Evan out. After an hour, the police are called by Evans girlfriend. I guess she though they would get rid of the bounty hunters, however it back fired because the cops left after knocking and receiving no response from inside. So, the guys pulled out some lawn chairs and decided to do some moon-tanning while they waited for Evan to come outside. The boys didn't think it was fair that they were the only ones who weren't getting any sleep, so they kept the dog up by knocking on the front door and then the back door and then the front door and then the back door, and then the side window the the front door, etc. While the dog goes crazy and pushes the curtain aside giving a little peak inside, the people inside get more annoyed. Oh yes, the fugitive's mental strife makes us laugh.
After 5 hours, the boys are still tapping on windows and doors until an AC unit falls out of the window and allows access to a bedroom. One of the boys jumps in, gets to look down the hallway until the pit bull mix comes to greet him. He shuts the door as the fugitive gets a running start and kicks the door into Corn Flae as he screams threats of "going and getting his AK". CF jumps back out the window as Evan comes out the front door chugging a bottle of Malibu Rum. While on the front porch, the dog follows him. Bake holds his gun on him and attempts to get Evan on the ground while D maces the charging dog. The fugitive continues to approach aggressively screaming all kinds of "F you's" and "F your mothers".
Now this guy had a Confederate flag on a flag pole in his front yard and an entire room dedicated to the "war". On the team, we have a black guy and a Puerto Rican guy, so insert all the racial slurs you've ever heard because he used them all. I have to say, our guys are very professional an didn't respond to Evan's rantings. Although they did tell the guy he should be a comedian.
On the ride back to jail, Evan told the guys how he was going to get them back and he was swearing on some interesting things. I've heard people swear on their mothers and on their children...and sometimes even on the graves of their loved ones. But this swear is a first. I promise. this is truly what he said...
"I swear on my momma's pu$$y hairs. That's sacred, well that's kind of sacred....well, as sacred as they can be."
Now, what I find funny about this is that you can almost see his drunken mind thinking about what he's saying...and he's almost rationalizing how "sacred" his mother's pu$$y hairs are. I mean, really, what son wants to think about his mothers V-zone? This man is a little off.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
ATM Withdrawal
Several weeks ago I had to run to the bank to deposit a check someone wrote us for a bond, which is normally a fairly easy thing to do. It was 9:30pm and it wasn't an unusual thing for me to ride right up to the ATM and make a quickie deposit.
I always look around to see who's in the parking lot because, after all, I usually carry large sums of cash on me. I noticed this dark SUV in the parking lot with a couple guys walking around it. I thought it was strange, but I thought maybe they were cleaning the car out while a friend was at the ATM. When I came around the building I noticed the SUV had moved to a neighboring parking lot and it looked like it had stopped facing the exit. Another guy was kind of lingering on the front side of the bank. Feeling the hair on the back of my neck rise, I decided to take note of where my gun was, which was in the trunk because I had been through the car wash earlier. I stopped the car just before the ATM and felt confident that I could get to the trunk and hands on my gun fast enough just in case this turned into a bad ATM camera video. I kept one eye on the SUV and the other eye on the strange guy lingering. When I got out of the car, the lingering guy decided to move up kind of behind me.
I mean, I can see why I'd be a good target...lone female in dark parking lot going to the ATM. I figured, he would wait until I was at the ATM before he tried anything, but this guy was a little jumpy.
I got my gun out of the back of my trunk and put it straight down against my side. I didn't want to appear to be swinging it around, but I did want to the guy lingering around to notice I had something in my hand that may not be too friendly. It worked, because he noticed something and stopped. It was like he was thinking. Well, this guy wasn't too stupid because he turned tail and ran back to the waiting SUV, which pulled away and went on it's way down Midlothian Turnpike.
I got back in the car and preceded to make my deposit, secure in the fact that if someone was going to rob me, I was certainly going to share my thoughts with him. Of course, I would never want to shoot anyone, but I would protect myself and my money.
I always look around to see who's in the parking lot because, after all, I usually carry large sums of cash on me. I noticed this dark SUV in the parking lot with a couple guys walking around it. I thought it was strange, but I thought maybe they were cleaning the car out while a friend was at the ATM. When I came around the building I noticed the SUV had moved to a neighboring parking lot and it looked like it had stopped facing the exit. Another guy was kind of lingering on the front side of the bank. Feeling the hair on the back of my neck rise, I decided to take note of where my gun was, which was in the trunk because I had been through the car wash earlier. I stopped the car just before the ATM and felt confident that I could get to the trunk and hands on my gun fast enough just in case this turned into a bad ATM camera video. I kept one eye on the SUV and the other eye on the strange guy lingering. When I got out of the car, the lingering guy decided to move up kind of behind me.
I mean, I can see why I'd be a good target...lone female in dark parking lot going to the ATM. I figured, he would wait until I was at the ATM before he tried anything, but this guy was a little jumpy.
I got my gun out of the back of my trunk and put it straight down against my side. I didn't want to appear to be swinging it around, but I did want to the guy lingering around to notice I had something in my hand that may not be too friendly. It worked, because he noticed something and stopped. It was like he was thinking. Well, this guy wasn't too stupid because he turned tail and ran back to the waiting SUV, which pulled away and went on it's way down Midlothian Turnpike.
I got back in the car and preceded to make my deposit, secure in the fact that if someone was going to rob me, I was certainly going to share my thoughts with him. Of course, I would never want to shoot anyone, but I would protect myself and my money.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Flushed Take-over
Ok, so we returned from Vegas and finally caught up on our sleep. Now I've got to get back in the swing of things...not that the swing around here is normal by must people's definition. I wasn't home 12 hours before I dropped my phone in the toilet. Yes, I had just flushed...thank god. I think I might have left it in there if it were not a "fresh bowl". So $500 later, I have this thing they cal a smart phone. It is so damn smart that it can take over small counties if need be, but I'm just trying to figure out how to get it to sync with my email. The other thing I would love to figure out how to do is make a call easily. I have figured out how to call someone, but I have to go into a program and push a couple buttons- well it's touch screen, so I touch a couple buttons and then it dials for me. Now if I get a text message while I'm on the phone, it beeps me and then opens a dialog window...but I can't figure out how to open the dialog window without making it reply first. So I end up having to go out of the reply and go back into the text to read it so I can then reply. The salesman told me not to get frustrated with it, and I'm not....I actually think it's pretty damn cool. I just need to read the instructions again. Of course I'm not good at that either, so maybe I'll just play with it until I get it...
...and hopefully I won't set off any missiles or destroy a third world country in the meantime.
...and hopefully I won't set off any missiles or destroy a third world country in the meantime.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
A crack house?! By yourself!? Really, come'on?!
I don't know what The Other Boyfriend was thinking when he thought it would be a good idea to go into a crack house by himself. He called me and said he was going to pick the girl up on P St in Church Hill and I about had a fit. He bonded the girl out and took a check, which of course bounced and then she didn't show to her last court date. (People will do that sometimes when they are going to see some jail time. I've never figured out why, because it always causes a worse situation in the long run.) So, basically, he bonded this girl out "for free".
He had tracked the girl's government check down and knew she was going to need to get it, so he held it while waiting for her to show up. Now I would never normally suggest holding a check, but in this situation it worked out OK because she did call and she did end up signing it over. Of course, she did try to accuse him of forcing her to do it, but with my husband and I as witnesses, she didn't get that far with the claim. Or it could have been her cracked-up lazy eye that gave away she was lying. People don't lie so well when they are chemically impaired.
Aaron and I met up with him at an address in Richmond's Southside and drove over to the Lock-up to leave one car so we could travel together in one. We got to P St and saw a couple lookouts on the corner and hiding in a bush in the front yard. We knew we were getting ready to walk into a crack house, so we called the police for a little support. Now in situations of bail pieces, the police can't touch the person because they don't have an active warrant in the system. The bail piece acts as the bondsman's warrant because we are the authority deciding to arrest this person. We don't have to get permission from a judge and we really don't have to have a "good reason", but that doesn't mean we revoke bonds for pleasure either. In this person's case, we were completely justified and probably should have done it as soon as the check bounced.
We hung back several blocks to keep an eye on the front door while we waited for the police. We saw 4 cars pull up, with 2 cops each and met them outside the residence. The look outs scattered like cockroaches when the lights are turned on and we knocked on the door. The police hung out to make sure no one got hurt and The Other Boyfriend searched the house. Aaron was at the back door with an officer. We found her hiding in the bathroom as the other residents of the house claimed they "didn't know no Sally*" and hurriedly hide crack pipes under bedding. Suuuuuuure, they didn't know her, of coouuurse...why is it no one knows no one when the bail bondsmen come knocking on the door, but we're your best friend when they are locked up and crying about getting out? That's a question for the ages...maybe a question for another blog.
So, we got her in handcuffs and walked her out to the car. Said our thank you's to the officers and took Miss Sally* to Lock-up. She was a bit non responsive while she was being driven back to jail but quickly perked up when we walked her to the door. It was like a light bulb was turned on and she realized she was going back to jail. She had the same look my students used to have when they realized they learned something new even though they had been fighting it. It was almost like you could see her brain tell her conscious, "Oh yes, you are going back to jail now." The delay on it was unreal. It took about 30 minutes. I can't believe it didn't clue her in when the hand cuffs went on, I can't believe she didn't realize it when we fussed at her for not going to court, and I certainly can't believe she didn't understand it when she was strapped into the car on the way to jail. I don't know, maybe she got confused because we rode her in on the leather seats of a Mercedes. I can see how that would have been confusing.
*Names have been changed.
He had tracked the girl's government check down and knew she was going to need to get it, so he held it while waiting for her to show up. Now I would never normally suggest holding a check, but in this situation it worked out OK because she did call and she did end up signing it over. Of course, she did try to accuse him of forcing her to do it, but with my husband and I as witnesses, she didn't get that far with the claim. Or it could have been her cracked-up lazy eye that gave away she was lying. People don't lie so well when they are chemically impaired.
Aaron and I met up with him at an address in Richmond's Southside and drove over to the Lock-up to leave one car so we could travel together in one. We got to P St and saw a couple lookouts on the corner and hiding in a bush in the front yard. We knew we were getting ready to walk into a crack house, so we called the police for a little support. Now in situations of bail pieces, the police can't touch the person because they don't have an active warrant in the system. The bail piece acts as the bondsman's warrant because we are the authority deciding to arrest this person. We don't have to get permission from a judge and we really don't have to have a "good reason", but that doesn't mean we revoke bonds for pleasure either. In this person's case, we were completely justified and probably should have done it as soon as the check bounced.
We hung back several blocks to keep an eye on the front door while we waited for the police. We saw 4 cars pull up, with 2 cops each and met them outside the residence. The look outs scattered like cockroaches when the lights are turned on and we knocked on the door. The police hung out to make sure no one got hurt and The Other Boyfriend searched the house. Aaron was at the back door with an officer. We found her hiding in the bathroom as the other residents of the house claimed they "didn't know no Sally*" and hurriedly hide crack pipes under bedding. Suuuuuuure, they didn't know her, of coouuurse...why is it no one knows no one when the bail bondsmen come knocking on the door, but we're your best friend when they are locked up and crying about getting out? That's a question for the ages...maybe a question for another blog.
So, we got her in handcuffs and walked her out to the car. Said our thank you's to the officers and took Miss Sally* to Lock-up. She was a bit non responsive while she was being driven back to jail but quickly perked up when we walked her to the door. It was like a light bulb was turned on and she realized she was going back to jail. She had the same look my students used to have when they realized they learned something new even though they had been fighting it. It was almost like you could see her brain tell her conscious, "Oh yes, you are going back to jail now." The delay on it was unreal. It took about 30 minutes. I can't believe it didn't clue her in when the hand cuffs went on, I can't believe she didn't realize it when we fussed at her for not going to court, and I certainly can't believe she didn't understand it when she was strapped into the car on the way to jail. I don't know, maybe she got confused because we rode her in on the leather seats of a Mercedes. I can see how that would have been confusing.
*Names have been changed.
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