I have always believed that the secret to a successful business is do it like a baby would. By that I mean the old saying, "you have to crawl before you can run". I think it's one of the most important things to remember when making business decisions. Yes, you should take risk, but take risk that's in line with your next step. One foot in front of the other. I think we've done a good job of crawling and we've really started to master walking. We try to give advice to our agents and guide them along the successful path, but people don't always listen to us. Which is one of the reasons we have a fairly interesting attrition rate.
One of the interesting attrition stories I have is one about Sara Gene*. Sara was brought into our little family through the back door, so she didn't really get the full interview process until after she was already involved in bonding. She decided she wanted to cut the middle man out and go direct, but she didn't anticipate that if she changed the rules midway we would change the game. I mean it's only fair to change the game if the "employee" wants to change the rules. Personally, I think it takes a real bold person to think they can run the show if they don't even have the money to buy the tickets, but hey, what do I know?
So, we get the new contract together and make an appointment to meet. She missed it, no phone call, email, text. So we make another appointment- she missed it. And then we make a third appointment- she makes it at the last possible minute. We go through everything and she decided that she wants her lawyer to look over it. OK, fine, no problem, but she could have had me fax it on Wednesday when we scheduled the first meeting. I knew it was bull shit, even though I didn't know exactly why she was trying to buy time. She tells me that she's going to call me first thing in the morning.
The morning comes. The afternoon passes by and at 2pm I send her a text message asking her what's going on with the contract. Her husband calls me and starts with "now listen here..."
Now I don't know about you, but I think it takes balls to call up the person backing you with $800k investment and start a conversation with "Now look here..." But, you know, more power to you if you think you can.
Long story short, I don't intimidate easily and he was apologizing profusely within 2 minutes of my "countdown". (Btw, if you ever get the countdown, don't let me get past 3. This guy get to 6.) Those of you who know me understand that I don't really like people who apologize too much because it makes me distrust them and an apology looses meaning when it's given too freely. So, this is a red flag for me.
But, still wanting this work out, I overlook this phone call and make a mental note to talk to Sara Gene about it next time we meet. (A piece of advice for women in business- don't have "your man" fight your battle for you because it seriously undermines you.)
So, she dicks me around a couple more days to eventually say that "her lawyer" didn't see how she would make enough money to cover what she's already spending in business advertising, etc. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't know many lawyers who will advise on contract rates unless they are negotiating for you. And not to mention, her contract rate was going up from 2 points to 6 points...um, hello, raise. So, again, the bull shit flag goes up. Well, we end up pulling her backing to find out that she had already gotten someone else to back her. Wow, so now she's violated her original contract because we had never released her from the original contract. Hrm, what are we to do? (We're still working on that one.)
To get back to my original thought about crawling before you run. My point here is that Sara Gene is cutting her nose off to spite her face because she is jumping sureties/investors too often (4 months in the business and on her second surety). She's spent thousands of dollars wrapping her Lexus and big pimping truck, she's probably spent thousands on Yellowbook advertising and she has the big pimping bondsman mentality going strong.
Yeah, these people come out here, attempt to play with the big dogs and get hurt. The problem I see with these wanna-be business people is that they are a big nuisance for a short period of time and leave the rest of us to clean up their bull shit. It annoys the hell out of me, but gives me a good story to train our "play by the rules" agents.
We're all going to make the money and we're all going to be successful as long as we learn to master each step...crawl, walk, run, sprint, fly. Simple concept to some, impossible to understand for others.
*Names have been changed.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Saturday, August 9, 2008
As sacred as they can be.
I have to say this career I have chosen continues to supply me with colorful stories which I can share with my friends and family. This one is no different. I must warn that the following story may be a bit offensive to some, so if you're going to get all huffed up about some of the language in this story, don't read any more.
As part of our business, there comes a time when we may have to arrest someone because they don't want to go to court. This doesn't happen a lot because most people have some sense of responsibility and know if they don't go, we'll pick them up and make them. And then you have other people like "Evan". (His name has been changed.) Evan is a saucy- or sauced up- old redneck who is a "personal friend of G" and has been through the system once or twice before. Now, in my mind, if you've been through the judicial system a few times, you should now the score. You get arrested, you get bonded out, you go to court...very simple. But this guy forgot the "go to court" step. So he advanced to the "get picked up by the bounty hunters" step.
The bounty hunter step is reserved for special clients. Being a member of this special club is like being a member of the special Olympics...even at the finish line you're still f'ing retarded. (Please don't throw tomatoes at me for that comment, I already know it's crude, but the effect is warranted here because the only people who skip bond are sissy asses on charges like Driving on Revoked or Indecent Exposure.) Seriously, the punishment for NOT going to court is always more seriously than if you just go and suffer your lumps from the judge.
So the bounty hunters go to the girlfriend's address and get little response from knocking, except from the pit bull mix barking and a few drunken adjectives shouted from inside. The guys couldn't see Evan to make a positive ID and we don't really like to kick doors down until we are certain the fugitive is inside. The guys decided to hang outside and tempt Evan out. After an hour, the police are called by Evans girlfriend. I guess she though they would get rid of the bounty hunters, however it back fired because the cops left after knocking and receiving no response from inside. So, the guys pulled out some lawn chairs and decided to do some moon-tanning while they waited for Evan to come outside. The boys didn't think it was fair that they were the only ones who weren't getting any sleep, so they kept the dog up by knocking on the front door and then the back door and then the front door and then the back door, and then the side window the the front door, etc. While the dog goes crazy and pushes the curtain aside giving a little peak inside, the people inside get more annoyed. Oh yes, the fugitive's mental strife makes us laugh.
After 5 hours, the boys are still tapping on windows and doors until an AC unit falls out of the window and allows access to a bedroom. One of the boys jumps in, gets to look down the hallway until the pit bull mix comes to greet him. He shuts the door as the fugitive gets a running start and kicks the door into Corn Flae as he screams threats of "going and getting his AK". CF jumps back out the window as Evan comes out the front door chugging a bottle of Malibu Rum. While on the front porch, the dog follows him. Bake holds his gun on him and attempts to get Evan on the ground while D maces the charging dog. The fugitive continues to approach aggressively screaming all kinds of "F you's" and "F your mothers".
Now this guy had a Confederate flag on a flag pole in his front yard and an entire room dedicated to the "war". On the team, we have a black guy and a Puerto Rican guy, so insert all the racial slurs you've ever heard because he used them all. I have to say, our guys are very professional an didn't respond to Evan's rantings. Although they did tell the guy he should be a comedian.
On the ride back to jail, Evan told the guys how he was going to get them back and he was swearing on some interesting things. I've heard people swear on their mothers and on their children...and sometimes even on the graves of their loved ones. But this swear is a first. I promise. this is truly what he said...
"I swear on my momma's pu$$y hairs. That's sacred, well that's kind of sacred....well, as sacred as they can be."
Now, what I find funny about this is that you can almost see his drunken mind thinking about what he's saying...and he's almost rationalizing how "sacred" his mother's pu$$y hairs are. I mean, really, what son wants to think about his mothers V-zone? This man is a little off.
As part of our business, there comes a time when we may have to arrest someone because they don't want to go to court. This doesn't happen a lot because most people have some sense of responsibility and know if they don't go, we'll pick them up and make them. And then you have other people like "Evan". (His name has been changed.) Evan is a saucy- or sauced up- old redneck who is a "personal friend of G" and has been through the system once or twice before. Now, in my mind, if you've been through the judicial system a few times, you should now the score. You get arrested, you get bonded out, you go to court...very simple. But this guy forgot the "go to court" step. So he advanced to the "get picked up by the bounty hunters" step.
The bounty hunter step is reserved for special clients. Being a member of this special club is like being a member of the special Olympics...even at the finish line you're still f'ing retarded. (Please don't throw tomatoes at me for that comment, I already know it's crude, but the effect is warranted here because the only people who skip bond are sissy asses on charges like Driving on Revoked or Indecent Exposure.) Seriously, the punishment for NOT going to court is always more seriously than if you just go and suffer your lumps from the judge.
So the bounty hunters go to the girlfriend's address and get little response from knocking, except from the pit bull mix barking and a few drunken adjectives shouted from inside. The guys couldn't see Evan to make a positive ID and we don't really like to kick doors down until we are certain the fugitive is inside. The guys decided to hang outside and tempt Evan out. After an hour, the police are called by Evans girlfriend. I guess she though they would get rid of the bounty hunters, however it back fired because the cops left after knocking and receiving no response from inside. So, the guys pulled out some lawn chairs and decided to do some moon-tanning while they waited for Evan to come outside. The boys didn't think it was fair that they were the only ones who weren't getting any sleep, so they kept the dog up by knocking on the front door and then the back door and then the front door and then the back door, and then the side window the the front door, etc. While the dog goes crazy and pushes the curtain aside giving a little peak inside, the people inside get more annoyed. Oh yes, the fugitive's mental strife makes us laugh.
After 5 hours, the boys are still tapping on windows and doors until an AC unit falls out of the window and allows access to a bedroom. One of the boys jumps in, gets to look down the hallway until the pit bull mix comes to greet him. He shuts the door as the fugitive gets a running start and kicks the door into Corn Flae as he screams threats of "going and getting his AK". CF jumps back out the window as Evan comes out the front door chugging a bottle of Malibu Rum. While on the front porch, the dog follows him. Bake holds his gun on him and attempts to get Evan on the ground while D maces the charging dog. The fugitive continues to approach aggressively screaming all kinds of "F you's" and "F your mothers".
Now this guy had a Confederate flag on a flag pole in his front yard and an entire room dedicated to the "war". On the team, we have a black guy and a Puerto Rican guy, so insert all the racial slurs you've ever heard because he used them all. I have to say, our guys are very professional an didn't respond to Evan's rantings. Although they did tell the guy he should be a comedian.
On the ride back to jail, Evan told the guys how he was going to get them back and he was swearing on some interesting things. I've heard people swear on their mothers and on their children...and sometimes even on the graves of their loved ones. But this swear is a first. I promise. this is truly what he said...
"I swear on my momma's pu$$y hairs. That's sacred, well that's kind of sacred....well, as sacred as they can be."
Now, what I find funny about this is that you can almost see his drunken mind thinking about what he's saying...and he's almost rationalizing how "sacred" his mother's pu$$y hairs are. I mean, really, what son wants to think about his mothers V-zone? This man is a little off.
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